ONE CAFFEINE SHOT LATER

“What’s your fondest childhood memory?”

Right then and there, I could see a surprised look on your face, as if I were the first person to ever have asked you such question.

“I’ll let you have a think about it, and in the mean time I’ll scour through these papers”, I said getting back to the weekend newspaper, smiling, feeling proud (perhaps?) of myself, knowing that I’ve asked the right question, ball’s in my court now.

I’ve honestly forgotten what your answer was that morning. Maybe it was something about your parents? Or how you had to take all sorts of extracurricular work after school? Or how you and your parents always go to a holiday house in the outskirt of town, and tend to the garden, ’cause that was your Dad’s favourite thing to do. I don’t know.

It’s funny how some memories seep through or slip through your mind just like that. No matter how hard you try to retrieve it back, you just can’t. Your brain just won’t cooperate. It’s like trying to look for a folder in your computer drive, which you know you’ve (accidentally/subconsciously/consciously) deleted for good. Done and dusted. Recycle bin emptied.

Some other memories, though, stick for longer. Like how you took my hand in yours for the first time when, funnily enough, we were about to walk in different directions. And we decided not to let go of each others’ hands from then on. Or so I thought. Or how you like to loop your feet around mine in bed, early in the morning when you were deep asleep.

Those memories, fondest memories; what relevance do they have now? Some (my best of friends) say that I should bury them deep at the back of my head and forget them altogether. I chose to believe that, however counterintuitively, remembering those memories actually help me to get better and get ahead. For who wouldn’t find joy in reminiscing happy memories? I may be wrong altogether. My friends would have been right. I may have chosen not to listen to them just because I found comfort in knowing that those sweet memories were once real. Pathetic.

I’m forever indebted to this experience, nevertheless. Knowing where you went wrong, and more importantly, getting to know yourself better are the biggest lessons in life that will help you grow. It was a steep learning curve, but it was worth it.

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“We finally met. My name’s _____. Nice to meet you.”

We shook hands a little bit awkwardly as I jumped into the car. I fastened my seatbelt and sat behind the driver’s seat, trying to steal a glimpse of your face through the rearview mirror.

“All set?” you said.

“Yes!” screamed everyone in the car.

Off we go to the north eastern part of the town, scurrying our way through to catch the last view of the Christmas lights show before they wrapped up for the year. The traffic was quite bad, everyone didn’t want to miss the annual light show, so it seemed And everyone had exactly the same idea as us, which is going on the very last day of the show! I don’t blame them. The lights were quite spectacular this year. A lot more houses chipped in to the festivities hence we could see a lot more hanging Santa’s on the roofs and more buskers singing Christmas carols on the neighbourhood’s sidewalks.

“I went to your concert. You played really well”, you said.

I could only reply to it with a little “Thanks” and sheepish smile.

The street grew busier as the night loomed in. We stumbled upon some interesting sights during our walks; Homer Simpson dancing on the porch of a house, a real life family having dinner in their front yard as passersby peek through the shrubberies trying to see the scene, crowds singing to a Christmas tune played by a busker trumpeter. As soon as we finished walking down and up the whole lit up street, we decided to take leave as it got quite late. But I left my heart right there, in the outskirt of the buzzing Melbourne town, where carols is playing on the backdrop and the street lit up with incandescent blinking lights.

YOU HAVE TO FULLY LET THEM GO


You have to forget 

the intimacies, the little things. 
The details, the things that keep you connected.
 
Expecting him to finish your sandwich when you’re full.
The birthmark on his cheek matching the one on your back. 
Which dress was his favorite; the one you always want to wear. 
How a piece of chocolate easily picked up his mood; 
The crinkle in his eye when he laughs.. laughed.
 
The way he liked to make the whole room laugh along with him.
 
You can keep the memories, but you have to forget it all. 
The details, the things that keep you connected.
 
Because that’s how you fell in love. That’s how you stay in love. But that’s not how you move on.
 
You have to fully let them go.
 
– Just another Josephine from NYC
 

LET’S GET OLD TOGETHER

Dear you,
Happy birthday! Another year older, another year wiser. I wish you nothing but the best that life can offer. Hope all your dreams come true. Hope all your hard work pays off. Hope all your goals and plans are fulfilled. Stay healthy. Eat lots of veggies. Don’t stay up late at night. Don’t push yourself too far beyond your limits. Don’t injure yourself when you’re playing sports. Pay more attention to your right shoulder. Eat well. Don’t binge on alcohol. When you’re feeling that recurring itch on your legs or back, don’t scratch your skin too harshly till it bleeds. Stay safe when you’re running to and from work. Stay safe when you’re driving. Moisturise regularly. Don’t miss your prescribed medications. Be strong. Face whatever problems that lie ahead of you bravely. Get through them one by one, one step at a time. Love your family and friends. Call your parents often. Be a good kid. Have no fear. Be confident and have faith in yourself. Believe in yourself. Laugh a lot. Read a lot. Pray a lot. Stay happy. If you ever find someone to love, hold on tight to her. Make it work. Always try to make it work. Don’t give up. Be kind. Stay kind. You have a good heart. Don’t ever change that. Stay true to what you believe in.
Hope you’re getting spoilt rotten and having a lovely and eventful one today.